Since I was pretty much the last of most of my friends to have children I had lots of opportunity to observe and learn about what parenting styles seemed to work and what I would like to use for my own kids. There was so much to learn about sleeping, eating, dressing and general handling of kids. We had friends who had their kids on very rigid routines for sleeping and some who let their kids stay up as late as they wanted, we had some who let them eat and drink as much and whatever they wanted, including one who put Coke in her baby's bottle, and some who didn't stop their kids from eating cookies till the kid puked, there were those who didn't care what their kids wore and those who made sure their kids looked pristine all the time etc...
when I was pregnant with my first baby we went to pre-natal classes where the focus was mainly learning how to breath during labour- and since I knew that I'd be having a c-section I focused more on the other topics like sleeping, feeding and safety.I pretty much knew from the start that I'd breastfeed my baby, even when the time came to actually feed and it turned out to be much much harder than anticipated I followed through with it- mostly because I asked my amazing hubby to go to the store and figure out how much formula would cost compared to the free milk I had! When he came back and said it would likely cost about $300 a month for formula my decision was made. No way was I going to waste hard earned money on that when I could just feed my baby my own milk for free! I actually couldn't believe that people would willingly dry up their milk and pay for formula...but that is me I guess!( always weighing the cost of things!!)
Then came sleeping... I knew the first few months would be hard. Everyone always talked about the late night feedings, the sleepless nights and all that other fun stuff. Even the pediatrician mentioned this to us. We kept the baby in a bassinet in our room for the first 6 weeks- mostly because I'd had a c-section and it was very hard for me to get up to feed the baby, if he was in our room hubby could just quickly get up and bring him to me,and everyone had been telling us that was what we should do. Once he started sleeping through the night (yes he slept through at 6 weeks!!-but that only lasted till about 4 months) he moved into his own crib in his own room. We weren't going to get into the habit of having the baby sleep in our room with us- at that age he had no say and didn't know the difference- and to this day the only time he's slept in our room is when he's been really really sick (and usually gets moved back to his bed while sleeping)
We also noticed that he was very fussy in the late evening. So fussy that it was almost unbearable to hear his little shrill cry for hours at a time- nothing seemed to console him- feeding, rocking, swinging, bouncing... until we just put him in his crib- and he fell asleep! He needed the peace and quiet of his own crib, in his own room to sleep. Thus started our realization that babies needed routine right from the start. Every night we'd have dinner, bathe the baby, I'd nurse him and put him down at around 6:30. He'd sleep for about 12 hours! There were periods of time where he'd wake in the night for feedings, like during teething or growth spurts but generally if we stuck to this routine there was never a problem.
I also started keeping a pretty rigid routine during the days for naps and eating too. This worked beautifully. My baby was happy and I was happy!
As he got older and all the other moms were starting their kids on solids I wanted to wait as long as possible. I had read how feeding solids too early could lead to later stomach problems. I held out until he was 5.5 months! We did the traditional, cereals (rice, then oatmeal, then barley), vegetables (greens first) and then fruits. I made my own baby food and only bought a few jars for convenience. Since I could never get meat mushed up enough I relied on jarred meats which my baby actually loved (blech!!!!) After he turned one and could eat whatever we ate I still wanted him to eat a variety of healthy foods and tried hard to limit his junk intake. We gave him cookies and sweets on occasion but unlike some of my friends who couldn't wait to give their babies chocolate I avoided giving that to him for as long as possible.
I thought I had it all worked out! I'd be the health nut mom who gave the kids home make carrot cake, raisin cookies and zucchini muffins in place of chocolate chip cookies, processed foods and other unhealthy fair! WRONG!!! Once my baby started daycare and I no longer had full control over what he ate, he was introduced to all sorts of less than ideal foods (french fries, chicken fingers, fish sticks etc...) Now that is all he will eat! As he is fast approaching 6 years of age he is getting better at trying things he doesn't recognize.
As for our daughter...she seems to copy him and if he is happy with the meal, she will generally be as well.
As for clothes...I thought I'd have full control of what they wore up until they were tweens WRONG. Both my kids are very fashion aware. They have chosen their own clothes for as long as I can remember and boy does all hell break loose if I dare even suggest they wear something they don't want to... I try to buy stuff that all matches and this year I have a bunch of dresses for my daughter so she won't always look like a colourful clown!
It is just amazing how your plans for things can quickly go curbside once reality sets in!!
