Before my son was born I was sure I wanted to breastfeed. I was convinced about the positive aspects of nursing and was not going to pollute my son's body with nasty formula. Then the birth happened. My first attempt at nursing him was not a success. He just wouldn't latch and I wasn't producing any milk yet. I was very upset, angry and frustrated. The nurses at the hospital were not very helpful. One nurse instructed me to do this, the other said do that and yet another said "now this is the right way to do it". A good friend, and hardcore breastfeeding advocate came to the hospital and made many attempts at assisting me to get it right. We tried tube feeding, taping a tube to my nipple and putting Elie on my breast this way, NOTHING, we tried feeding him with a syringe and still nothing. Another friend, who is a registered nurse, tried to help me over the phone. It was very hard, and very very painful. I was becoming discouraged and the hospital was very quick to hand me bottles of formula, which they informed me i needed to give my little boy as he would become dehydrated and lose too much weight. Reluctantly I succumbed to their nudges. After 3 days at the hospital they discharged us and sent us away with a box of formula, bottles, a few nipples and absolutely no knowledge on how to properly breastfeed. I was devastated. My husband being the great man that he is, found as much information as he could find on breastfeeding clinics and lactation consultants, then called them all until he found someone to come over to our house ASAP. Since I had had a c-section it was impossible for me to go to one of the free clinics and it also appeared that there was a long wait to see anyone there...we paid the fairly high price for the most wonderful LC to come and help me. She did a fantastic job and I have referred her to several new moms as I am now a keen advocate of breastfeeding too. It was worth every cent to have her come to our assistance. During the process of learning what techniques worked for me and my baby and talking with Timea the LC, I was told that formula should only be given to moms by prescription. I thought that was a little harsh and fanatical but now after almost 9 months of breastfeeding I believe this is true.
Of course there are days when I feel like a dairy cow and wish that I could stop breastfeeding but I know that I am giving my son the absolute best start in life and there is no way powder manufactured in a factory can be as healthy and nutritious as milk produced by my body made for my baby.
What started out as a terrible nightmare has become one of the most positive experiences for me as a mother. In the beginning I thought my nipples would come right off they were in so much pain but using the breathing techniques I learned at prenatal class helped me though it. I was sure I was going to have a nervous breakdown due to being so torn on what to do about feeding my son. I wanted to breastfeed him so badly but it wasn't coming naturally and it seemed like the hospital had some sort of conspiracy with the formula companies so that new moms would feel like formula is easier than feeding the natural way. Through persistence, and lots of help from friends and a great LC I was able to grant myself the wish to breastfeed. I just wish more new moms out there did the same as me.
Remember Breast really is Best!!!
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That's a great post, Dina! A friend of mine had a baby recently and couldn't get her baby to latch on. I remember her crying all the time because she was tired, frustrated, sore, and just depressed because she thought her baby didn't want her milk. It must be really hard to go through something like that, when many people assume it's so easy and so natural.
ReplyDeleteWonderful, informative post :)
Great post Dina!
ReplyDeleteI am a big BF advocate and firmly feel all babies should be breast-fed (or at least, mothers should make a very sincere effort)...but since I HAD NO PROBLEMS RIGHT FROM THE START (don't hate me :))it is easy for me to say it is worth it to keep going.
It is nice to hear from moms who did not have an easy start, but persevered and are glad they did.
I am so happy BF worked out for you and Elie. There are many things I am proud of as a mom (and a few I wish I had done differently) and BF my baby is definately up there near the top of my list.
I agree with you, breast feeding is the greatest nothing like that bond you share. I thought I would be one of those mothers who would do it in private but once I had nathanial and he was hungry, I whipped it out everywhere:) of course within reason and covered.
ReplyDeleteNathanial weened himself off after 6.5 months. I was so crushed but now I am a little thankful being pregant with the second and knowing I will be able to do it all again.
I thought I would be one of those mothers who would do it in private but once I had nathanial and he was hungry, I whipped it out everywhere:) of course within reason and covered.
ReplyDeleteDanielle, I had thought so too. My whole pregnancy I knew I would BF, but assumed it would be private.
Then, the first time Zoë got hungry in the mall I was in the food court and had just started eating(I'd thought she was alseep for a while). No way I was gonna leave my lunch sitting out to go find somewhere private. From then on, I nursed anywhere...and was glad to do so. Nursing was so much easier once I realized I could do it anywhere. Zoë wouldn't even use a blanket...but my top covered everything. She held onto nursing a bit longer than Nathanial though...self-weaned at 27 months! I still miss it sometimes, especially since I'll probably never nurse again. Oh well, I guess that makes it even nicer that we did it for so long!
I agree that this is a fantastic post Dina! I BF both kids, but had a very difficult time initially. For Liam I ended up supplementing with formula after his weight dropped after the first couple of weeks. I was crushed, but it was worth double the effort just to have the BF experience. He self-weaned at 6 months. So when I had G-girl I was SO DETERMINED to BF exclusively, but she was such a sleepy thing. So I did the herbal stuff, the tube thingy - Ian thought I was going to have a breakdown. But I supplemented again because she was losing weight. The good news is that she "woke up" eventually and I nursed exclusively for probably about a year. I weaned her when she was about 19 months ... I was hoping to go to at least 2 years now that I'm home, but we had to stop for other reasons. I still really miss it sometimes.
ReplyDeleteJill, 27 months - phenomenal!
Karen, I never ever thought she'd hold out that long! In the end, it was prefect though...a very gental and natural weaning just at the point that I was going to toss her out a window if she did not stop!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dina for your nice words. It was my pleasure helping you achieve your breastfeeding goals and to help turn your challenge in to a positive experience. It is always nice to hear from moms who I have supported and learn that they did overcome their challenge and breastfed for an extended period of time.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Timéa
www.GentleMothering.ca
Now when i watch those baby stories on TLC and the moms talk about going to formula because BF wasn't for them I get so upset. They just don't seem to try hard enough- if i had succumbed to my urges to quit i would have regretted it forever.
ReplyDeleteI also get upset/angry when women talk about how much they didn't want to breastfeed. How could a mother NOT want to give their own baby their own milk?!?!
One friend gave me all sort of tips on how to dry up my milk quickest and how to not to get engorged...this really pissed me off but i decided not to say anything (although i will never forget this)
i really commend those moms who gave it their all, those who pumped for months because they weren't able to get a proper latch and especially those who worked through difficulties and just did it!!!
come to think of it I too believed i would do it in private...but now i feed him in the dr's office, at restarants (although the pb is still a little crowded to do it comfortably) and wherever i need to...much to my mother's dismay i feed him anywhere i need to (she always gets uncomfortable when we're in public and will turn away but it fine when we're at home-go figure!)
ReplyDeleteDina - I know a couple of women who decided EVEN BEFORE the baby was born that they wouldn't BF! How could you not at least try? At the time I didn't have my kids yet, or I'm sure I would have been more vocal about my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny about your mom- just old-fashioned I guess. I used to be pretty shy about BF in public too, but after the first few times I'm like, "whatever, baby's hungry!!" I remember chatting with an older lady at Hillcrest while she was admiring G. Then the diva got restless so I pulled up my shirt(under a blanket) and stuck her on. The lady suggested I might be more comfy in the nursing area (in the washroom there - where it's not exactly pleasant). I told her I was just fine where we were. She left looking very distinctly uncomfortable.
My Dad used to leave the room whenever I nursed Liam, but he got used to it real quick - I think he didn't even flinch one time when he got a flash of my boob!
Karen,
ReplyDeletei know some moms like that too. They made the decision not to even try after having neg experiences with their first children...just makes me so angry. Did they even read anything about the affects of formula on long term health???
You chose to breastfeed and loved it. I chose not to and loved it. It's a choice. Why are you all so judgemental about mothers who choose not to breastfeed?
ReplyDeleteWell anon, I cannot speak for Dina, but I can for myself. Breast-milk is known to be the best food for babies...who only eat one thing for 4-6 months. IMO, it is a parent's job to always do their best for their babies, when they are able. If a mother cannot BF for some reason (including being emotionally unable to), than giving formula is doing the best they can. But when a mother who is prefectly able to breastfeed chooses not to, or when a mother simnply decides, without even trying, than BF is not for her...well, IMO that is just not a great way to start off parenting-making the very first choice that you make for your baby a choice that is proven to be inferior. Does that mean they are bad parents? No, of course not. There is a lot more to parenting than how you feed your baby, and certainly babies can and do thrive on formula. But, there is no denying that BM is best for babies, and that is why I think all babies should be BF if they can be. Is that judgemental? Maybe. Oh well...if you are confident in your choice that FF is best for you and your baby, live with that choice. I get judged rudely all the time for choosing to have only one child...I don't ask why people judge me for it. I know why. They think siblings are better for kids. The same way I think BM is better for babies (that, BTW, is proven.)I don't care though, since I am confident that having one child is best for our family. If you are confident FF is best for your baby and your fmaily...stop worrying why people judge it, and just do what works for you.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I really don't get how mothers can knowingly choose to giver thier babies an inferior substance, and then be surprised that there are people who question it or even look down upon it.
That said, I would never say anything judgemental in person to someone, or go on a FF blog and say something. But this is Dina's blog, where she shared her opinion, which I happen to agree with.
True breastfeeding or formula feeding is a choice but so is vaccinating your children or smoking during pregnancy or even drinking during pregnancy- all these things have long term affects on the health of our babies. It is my hope that all mothers seriously considered the health risks of their actions before choosing to formula feed. I understand that FF is easier in the beginning for some (as I thought it might be the choice for me since my milk took some time to come in) but once I re-evaluted the benefits of BM I pursued it with force.
ReplyDeleteWhat I believe is that formula should be available for those who absolutely need it and are really unable to breastfeed. If you are choosing formula for legitimate reasons (like emotional or personal health) and not because you might think breastfeeding is going to make you boobs sag, going to tie you down to the baby (then why did you choose to have a baby in the first place?) or because you think it's "gross" then that is your prerogative.