Must one follow a parenting theory to be considered a good parent these days? There are so many philosophies and theories on what is right and best for the development of your child. It can be really overwhelming-especially to the first time parent.
When my son was born I was handed advice on what to do when he sleeps, when he eats, when he poops, when he wees, when he cries, when he walks, when he talks...well you get the picture. I found myself doing what worked best for me and for my family. I didn`t know if I was following one theory versus another- i just parented. We lived our lives, raised our baby and did what seemed to work.
Now that I am a mom of two I find that some of the things we did the first time around aren`t feasable the second time around. I also find myself questioning the `type`of parent I am.
Would one consider me a follower of attachment parenting OR am I an advocate of Cry It Out
I would never let my baby cry for...say 40 minutes in her crib BUT I don`t always pick her up and coddle her when she cries. I do go into room, pat her back and try to calm her down, if she is hysterical. I don`t rock her to sleep nightly. Nor did I nurse her or read to her until she is asleep in my arms. I put in her bed and usually she fell asleep within a few minutes of being put to bed. My daughter woke in the night until she was 10 months old. Did I go to her and nurse her because it was the fastest way to get her back to sleep- you bet I did! Do I put her down in her crib when she is obviously exhausted and let her cry for a few minutes before falling asleep for the night- well I do that too!!
All these theories on parenting and all the advice that comes with its followers can be so super duper confusing!
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I was trying to write a post about this myself this evening...but it is slow going.
ReplyDeleteEven though I identify with attachment parenting, I by no means do everything AP would suggest...I do not co-sleep, for example. I just use the term because, in general, it is the best way to describe my parenting style, when I feel like there is a reason to do so.
I have never actually even read the AP "bible", Dr. Sears though. With my first child I, like you, parented in the way that made sense and worked best. It was sorta along the way that I discovered there was a name for it. I was glad I did though, since it did help me to find other moms that parented the way I do (online at least-not many of the moms I know in real life do, though I am starting to meet some) and when you do things differently than everyone else, that is a good thing since you cannot talk to people that wean at 6 months about issues related to Breast-feeding a 28 month old-and sometimes you need to talk to people that are going through what you are!
What worked for me the first time is, for the most part, what works again...so it is what I do. If identifying myself as an AP parent helps me to find other parents that do (some, everything is different) things the way I do, so I am not always feeling isolated and alone among mothers that all seem to do it differently, I am all for that. Because it is hard to be alone in a group.
Oh my goodness! I was trying to write a post about this very topic too! I had so much to say though...so I ended up blogging about chocolate. LOL! I'm saving the parenting post for another day :)
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