vacation...

Oh boy do I need a vacation...since working full time over the last 2 years I really appreciate the 5 weeks vacation time I get off yearly...Think that I'll take a week off in March while hubby has time for March break...been SOOO busy at work that all I have energy for in the evenings is reading, eating and sleeping...maybe a week off will rejuvinate me.... we went to Europe for 2 weeks in the summer which was awsome and then had 3 weeks off last December for wedding and honeymoon, took a week off in November.. but really feeling the need to take another week SOON...maybe we can manage one last trip in before baby comes...I'm thinking Cuba...hmmm nice warm air, sand, sea and nothing to do but relax...

Niagara Falls

It's so nice to have so many wonderful things to see and do around our beautiful province. I love living in Canada-in spite of the cold weather and lack of sun for so many months on end...This weekend we decided to take a day trip to the wonderful and beautiful Niagara Falls. Spending the day there was a nice treat as it is so far from the big city and it reminds us of all nature has to offer...here are a couple of pics from our day which was spent with my brother and his wife...

all these changes goin' on!!

Since learning of my pregnancy early November I have noticed a variety of changes in my both my physical and psychological state...
Physically I have started to notice the obvious such as weight gain, increased breast size and overall heavy legged feeling. I did allow myself to overindulged early on in my pregnancy by eating excessive amounts of carbs and junk food-something I am not normally prone to doing. I just couldn't help myself!! Chips and french fries and chipolte buritos from Taco Bell kept calling out to me and I couldn't be rude and ignore their pleas to be consumed!! Now in my second trimester the absurd cravings for grease have subsided but unfortunately some serious damage has been done!! Time to start exercising a little more...maybe I'll offer to take my parents' dog for a long walk daily...neither of them can really walk that long as they both have serious knee problems...
As for the new cleavage I've gained...All I can say is WOW...who knew how much boobs could grow in such a short time!! I have already had to go buy bigger bras to accommodate, I actually tried on a couple of nursing bras, which I liked but decided that with 5 months to go it is best to wait to closer to my due date to buy those...don't want to outgrow those too!!
OY...my legs have been feeling SOOO heavy these days. Sometimes I have the hardest time walking down stairs, especially after working on my feet for hours at a time. Feels kind of like my ankles are swollen but when I look at them i can't see anything...who knows !!! I won't even venture into talking about the new vericose veins i've discovered (i've had some since I was about 19 as I worked on my feet a lot during university and in the summers)
EMOTIONALLY
Now i have always been an extremely sensitive person and this whole pregnancy thing has just intensified this tenfold! Crying at cell phone commercials, crying while reading the newspaper, crying while hearing a song on the radio have all become norm these days...although this has calmed down a little in the past week or two I thought my tear ducts were going to dry up...poor hubby had no clue when the dam would break and flooding would start!!Again with the stabilization of those darn hormones untimely crying has calmed down too!!
Funny how although I've always wanted to be a mom this whole process is still pretty scarey!! Suddenly when reality starts setting in and I really think about the fact that I can't give back this baby EVER unlike when babysitting or playing with friends kids this baby is now %100 mine(Well ours) and there is no turning back..i suppose if thousands of people have done this before it can't be that bad...live and learn will never take on a more real meaning!!

that's all for now :)

feeling blue...

Expecting a baby is supposed to be a very happy magical time but lately I can't help feeling a little scared and overwhelmed. There is so much to learn and know before this little creature comes into our lives and I feel like there is nothing I can read or do to realistically prepare myself for this life altering event about to happen. YIKES!!!
I have books upon books full of all sorts of wonderful information and it has been useful but on the other hand how often do things actually go "text book"... I would have never imagined that people who have planned c-sections can actually go into labour early..well after talking to one friend this actually happend to her with both her deliveries. ALSO, who would have imagined that breast feeding would be such a hard challenge for new moms!! It all looks so natural but again after reading books and talking to friends it is not instinctive and babies actually have to learn how to suck properly to get milk...but thanks to some good advice from a good friend this doesn't scare me THAT much. She said the more you read about and know before you try the better prepared you'll be...I am really trying to take her advice and read up on BF as much as I can as I plan on going a full year at the minimum..
And of course there is still the fear that the IPS testing will detect something negative. I really don't know what we would do in a situation where problems were predetermined. I am not sure if I am prepared emotionally to deal with a physiologically challenged baby...but lets just pray to G-d everyday that these things will never become an issue.
I think once we go to our prenatal classes and hopefully meet other first time parents to be this anxiety will subside a little.

Terrific Toronto???

I have always loved Toronto. There is so much to do and so many places to see. If you want any type of cultural food all you have to is take a walk down the street and you can find it. In my neighborhood alone we have Middle Eastern, Korean, Chinese, Deli, Greek, Italian to name a few... This city used to be a safe place to raise kids, walk the streets at night and enjoy life in general...recently Toronto has become a very scary place. I am honestly thinking that living here may not be an option for much longer if the gov't doesn't do something to stop the violence. I work in Scarborough and really feel uneasy about walking around the mall here after work hours with all the gang members and frightening people milling around. NEVER look anyone in the eye and certainly NEVER accidently bump into anyone or you might have a gun stuck in your face. Some days I am really glad I drive a beaten up car as that way nobody looks my way when I go the parking lot...no need to draw attention to myself by driving a flashy car in this neighborhod!

The rate of homelessness seems to be on the rise as well. One evening as I sat at an intersection in a fairly affluent neighborhood there were three homeless youth holding signs requesting money for food. Four corners, three homeless youth...seems to me there is a serious problem here. I used to give money on occasion to these people who seemed so desperate for food until one day when I handed over a toonie to a man who seemed grateful but noticeabley drunk or high (had I noticed his altered state before he came close enough to take the toonie I would have never given him the money) I decided that I'd rather give tzadaka in other ways. Giving money to known and established charities is much more fullfilling and rewarding plus I know the money is being put to good use. Doing things in the community is much more rewarding, really what is more precious than ones time?!?! I am on a search for the best volunteer position for me.

If anyone can think of ways to help combat the problems of this city (and many big cities across the world) we must voice our ideas and put them to use. This trecherous problem needs to be address immediately, gangs, drugs, youth homeless are things that keep me up at night wondering about the state of our world at large!

wow!!

I guess there is something in the water around here...aside from myself I have one co-worker who is pregnant and due around the same time as me and I just found out yesterday that a friend of a friend is due the same day as me...and I thought everyone my age already had kids and all the moms I was going to meet would be way younger than myself. This news makes me very happy and also relieved!! I didn't want to be the oldest mommy on the block!!...

As for being pregnant...been feeling much better these days, the nausea has subsided unless I gorge on yummy food, been getting daily headaches and taking Tylenol to help but really don't want to take it everyday for much longer...got a decaf coffee this morning and hope that might help...you know the placebo affect.. started wearing some maternity clothes but my yoga pants are still doing a great job keeping me comfortable.

neat

Just thought I'd share. This is very exciting, seeing the start of a little baby growing in my tummy is such an awsome feeling.
Gavin has been grinning ear to ear, first while he heard the heart beat for the first time and next when we saw this tiny life form waving at us from inside my belly.
I think Gavin may want this even more than I do! He really feels behind the lot as most of his friends have at least 2 kids already and some of those kids are already in middle school !!
Seeing this pic really makes things a lot more real for us.

feeling yucky

Woke up the morning of Dec 31 with a terrible sore throat...just knew it was going to progress into a full blown cough/cold. Well now it is day 5 of the sickies and I'm tired of running nose and coughing fits that come on at 5 am...I did purchase a anti-cold bath product that has eucalyptis (SP??) and other vapours...it helped temporarilly but I should have bought more than one package...it was only good for one bath...
anyway if anyone has non-medicated solutions for helping combat cough/cold symptoms PLEASE let me know!!