Spiritual Enlightenment????

Now that the High Holidays are over and I've been exposed to religion again after a year long absence from any practice of prayer I find myself full of so many questions.
Is synagogue and prayer supposed to leave one feeling enlightened or transformed from a "sinner" to a good moral individual? Yom Kippur, the most important or holiest day of the Jewish calendar is a day of contemplation and reflection of ones self. It is also a day in which one asks G-d for forgiveness of sins committed over the past year. As Jews we are asked to fast and refrain from doing all thing frivolous such as washing, using perfumes or lotions and from wearing leather shoes. As a non-religious Jew I do refrain from eating and drinking but cannot find it within me to refrain from washing. I absolutely need to brush my teeth. What is the real point in all these actions? Are they really leading us down a stronger moral path or are they just viewed as an inconvenience? Does G-d really treat those whose lives are filled with daily religious practice better than those who just attend services three times per year? Can those who do practice orthodoxy really judge those who choose to lead more secular lives? Doesn't the act of judging go against everything Jews are taught in the first place?