Friday 23 April 2010

what ever happened to common curtesy?

Have thank you cards gone the way of the horse and buggy? Have they become obsolete or saved only for the old fashioned?
I was thinking about all the functions and parties I've been to over the past year or two. Some of them were big fancy affairs, where big fancy gifts were expected and of course given. Some of them we received thank you cards promptly- much appriciated! Some of them we received nada! One particular event we went to and I forgot the gift so the day after the wedding the bride (my friend) came by to get it from me personally! I have yet to get a thank you card for this gift- that was almost a year ago. I also never received a thank you for the bridal shower gift i gave (and I hope she received, because I ended up leaving before she got to my gift as my little one had had enough and needed to go)That was OVER a year ago! I actually emailed my friend and asked her if she had my new address as we moved between the time of the events and the expected time frame for sending thank you cards (Normally 3 months IMO-although I had my thank you cards out 2 or 3 days after the wedding-refused to have to think about them while on our honeymoon) She replied that they hadn't sent them out yet- that was more than 6 months ago!!! Call me old fashioned but I am annoyed! I took time out of my schedule to go buy a gift for the shower, shlepped WAY out of my way to attend the shower, gave my hard earned moula for a wedding gift and then I never receive so much as a thank you!
There have been several other occassions lately that make me wonder if thank you is just not the chique way to express gratitude for what was given!!
A couple of baby gifts where thank you cards were not sent- one was a very old friend who sent out an electronic generic thank you to all the guests who attended the event ( that is better than no thank you at all but still very impersonal and again I have no idea that my specific gift was actually received by the intended recipient!!) and another similar situation. IMO a simple, we love the books or clothes or whatever would have been soooo nice!! A third event was a family wedding. We did not give a family gift but we only received our names on a thank you card written to all members of the family including my in-laws and my SIL's family- this was sent out to my in-laws house! Thank you cards were not sent for the shower either-but at that event teh Bride announce she wouldn't be sending thank you cards because she would be too busy between the shower date and the wedding- I guess that is okay then?Just not nice IMO!!

3 comments:

  1. Hey, D!
    I agree with you. I like giving and receiving thank you cards. Maybe I'm just old fashioned or overly sensitive (or both), but if a person doesn't take the time to send a quick thank you card, it bugs me. I know that Canada Post makes a mint off of me because we're always sending cards of some sort. I know from a "green" stand point, it's not practical or wise to send cards like that, because it's "wasteful" since many people just throw the cards out anyway. I actually save all ours. If we need to recycle them, I make little gift boxes out of the cards and put candies in them for Valentine's Day or whatnot.

    Anyway, you are absolutely right. It is a bit offensive for someone to expect a present and not have the courtesy to send a thank you note.

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  2. Wow. The bride went to your HOUSE to pick up HER present?

    That kinda reminds me of the time when I was invited as a date for my friend's friend's wedding party. I ordered an online gift for the happy couple, but after 3 months (and I reminded my friend and his friend who just got married), and ended up they never bothered to pick up their present, so I just went for the return. I have no idea whether to be offended or not.

    Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  3. at least you were able to get a refund after 3 months!

    I KNOW!! She called me the day after the wedding to find out if we had fun etc and I mentioned to her that I had forgotten her gift/envelope at home the night before and could i get her address, she said she was in the area and could come pick it up!
    AND now almost 1 year later I haven't received a thank you card- maybe the cheque wasn't enough in her opinion. Although i'm pretty sure it came in handy when they were redecorating their new condo!

    ReplyDelete

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